Mon 21st Feb 2005

went back to the special sch today. it’s quite sad u knoe. like, a few ppl were quite surprised dat i went back even tho i had alrdy finished my compulsory 80 hrs. i guess it’s a normal thing to juz do wat u hv to do and nv look back, esp when it comes to comm svc. but i missed the kids, and of course the shuai malay teacher!! wahaha.

things were different alrdy, as alwayz with the passin of time. 3 of the kids were shifted to another class becos they were too old for the previous class – YC, Halim and Fitras. and one of the teachers aso shifted to another class liaoz.

nw the current class has quite a few new students as well, all of whom hv Downs Syndrome. it was pretty scary cos it was my first time interacting with DS kids. the previous students were all quite ‘tame’ and quiet mainly cos they couldnt speak at all. while the autistic kids durin the sunshine camp were juz physically tiring. but the DS kids were scary becos they were very temperamental. they were arguing abt reallie insignificant, trivial stuff, like who was the good kid and who was the naughty kid. well i guess to them it was important to be the good kid. so 2 of them had a huge fight. den the good fren of one of them started cryin aso. den the malay gal i was with started gettin upset and cowered in my lap. so u basically had like, 4 affected kids. so by the time they settled down and made up, it was time to go home! goodness, the patience of the teacher! u cant scold them cos they dun understand, but u cant let them hv their way as well cos u would spoil them. so u hv to try ur best to explain to them but smtimes they juz dun understand. i hate seein ppl fight, so it was scary seein them. i sat frozen and din knoe wat to do! the other volunteer alina said dat they were like that all the time. dunno how the teachers deal with it.

so i came away feelin quite impressed with the teachers. i mean, previously, the kids were difficult cos sm wouldn’t respond, and u had the normal naughty kids as well. but these DS kids were realie so different from the previous batch! and the teachers juz handled it so well. and the other teacher who got transferred to another class, i was quite impressed as well. her new class consists of students who reallie cant respond at all. no talkin, mebbe smtimes juz actions onli. so she reallie had to think of ways to get their attention and get them to respond. which isnt reallie easy.

went over to the other class to see the 3 transferred students. saw YC. i always feel sad to see him. he looks different now, mebbe it’s the shorter hair, mebbe he looks more grown up now. but yet he still cant respond. still cant eat on his own. still needs his mother. saw Halim aso. another one which i feel reallie sad abt. his mother passed away last yr of cancer as well. he was extremely close to his mother cos his mother alwayz tks care of him as well. so i asked his maid, who was in the class with him, hw he is. she said he still calls for his mother and is unable to comprehend dat she has died. hw sad is dat? knowin dat your mother is not around you, yet not knowin why and not understandin wat death is. and he cant speak too, so i reallie duno how he feels or wat is gg on in his mind. sm of these kids who cant speak and smtimes onli juz respond thru actions, you really wonder wat they are thinkin abt. do they know they are different? do they feel different? do they want to do smthin abt it? do they think abt the future? basically juz wat do they reallie think abt?

ya aniwaes on a lighter note, i liked gg back to the special sch aft a long while. cos they alwayz say i look lost weight and look prettier!! wahaha! and alina said she wanted to introduce me to her son!! eh dun praypray man, her son is quite eligible one leh. but i think he’s attached lah hehe.

when i dun go back, i can convince myself dat it’s bcos im busy, i hv no time, even tho i feel a teensy weensy bit guilty. when i do go back, i feel like i wanna keep gg back to help them out. wonder if i shld go back durin my free days?