at this rate, it does seem like i can possibly finish whatever i’m supposed to cover for the exams (cross fingers, touch wood, hold four leaf clover, rub lucky horse shoe).

yet even though i’m eating up the chapters in my texts, it seems as though i don’t seem to be understanding what i’m studying. like there’s a subconscious voice telling me to just skim through, cos if i stop to think properly and realise that i don’t understand what i’m reading and think even harder about what the book is trying to say, i would not have enough time to finish. so while i think i’m studying, in essence i seem to be just skiming or speed reading through my texts, and another subconscious voice (yes i have a lot of inner voices) seem to say that it’s ok because most of the stuff the text is explaining i do know or have a vague idea of it so it doesn’t really matter cos i can probably crap force something out during the exam.

which is another point of concern. what happens if i think that i understand, and most stuff i do know vaguely already, yet i can’t seem to apply during the exams? seems like this semester, it’s a lot of more chim application questions (not just on the surface kinda application qns). so i’m feeling scared. but i don’t have time to properly digest every single thing in all my texts.

and i don’t know why, just shoot me, but i keep thinking about next semester too! something is terribly wrong! how can i think about next semester when i haven’t even cleared this one? but i’m just thinking of how studying for 4 modules this semester is quite a killer, and how next semester will be even worse. even though i will still be studying for 4 modules next semester, the modules are super chim. all numbers and financial stuff. no crapping of my way thru kinda modules. Advanced Financial Accounting, which is strictly numbers and all consolidation stuff. Accounting Theory, which i don’t know is about what but i heard it’s super chim. Qualitative Methods, which i also don’t know about what but i heard quite difficult. Technology & World Change, seems like a module that i can crap, yet it seems to also require a lot of readings and hard facts. i am so screwed. now pray tell, why am i thinking about next semester, next year, 2006, when this semester this year isn’t over yet?

wat term break??!!:cuss:

let’s see now.

Last Sat — Damon Jie Mei and JX bday celeb :beer:
Last Sat/Sun — AMA take home test + AA summary :what:
Last Mon — AMA lesson + project meeting + interview (but cancelled)
Last Tues — TWO internship interviews ok like how stressful is tt? one aft the other leh! i was rushin from one building to another within the space of 10 mins in Raffles Place, tryin frantically to put on lip gloss in the car and mkin sure tt my breath didn’t stink and tt my hair was not messy :blank1
Last Wed — Ethics project + AMA WHOLE DAY :shake:
Last Thur — driving + cut hair + Ethics project + manicure :shake:
Last Fri — Ethics + Feedback with the Dean + AMA + pedicure :shake:
Sat — MY BIG DAY! haha the other big one b4 i get married lah tt is.. :beam1
Sun — pia AMA presentation and Ethics presentation/report :shake:
Mon — AMA lesson cum presentation, IPR lesson, Ethics project :blank1
Tues — Ethics lesson cum presentaion + rush report after class cos due 24 hrs later :what:
Wed — AA lesson, Lunchtime Seminar, AA meeting :blank1

yes so that was my week from last week till now. last week was like supposed to be my term break lor. harlow? wat term break when i go sch every day? it’s even worse den normal weeks when i go sch for onli 3 days a wk lor!! ok yes dun complain cos amanda will scold me cos she everyday gotta go sch. seems like the only bright spot last week was my bday! :tongue1 okie but at least it’s ok. now i’m left with AMA report+another writeup but shld be ok i hope. IPR hvnt start yet cos prof hvn’t teach yet. AA left report+presentation but so far, report almost done and seems pretty ok. right. so wat muz i do today? feel like slacking! haha feel like i hvnt slacked for so long!

oh yar i’m like how stupid can. i juz realised dat i hv to moderate the comments b4 they appear on my blog! haha and the email notification for the moderation is sent to another email acct, which i hvn’t checked since god knows when, so i didn’t know so many ppl posted comments and were waiting for it to be moderated! haha oki i approve all liaoz..pls continue to comment k, i promise i will check my email and approve it :wink1

jiak lat!! week 3 over liaoz and my readings still havn’t start!! :shake: die liaoz!! can’t start! so boring! so sleepy! so sianz!

anw..i can’t even rem hw my wk went haha. it was okie i think. sun nite was bad. hai. bie ti le. dats why mon morn was quite stoned. tues went for a talk to whistle blowing! it was okie..not reallie up to my expectations but interesting to know loh. i asked a qn, and i was so proud of myself. but the speaker nv ans me properly!! evaded the whole thing and juz repeated wat he said during the presentation. like huh!? wth?!

he said whistle blowing is more common in places like the US than in Singapore. he thinks that if we could have a support system in place here, perhaps more people would come forward to blow the whistle. he recommended having an independent body that the whistle blower can report to, where there will be people who will listen to him and advise him on what to do, and there should also be financial rewards (up to 15-30% of the recovery amount) for the whistle blower. the independent body should also help shield the identity of the whistle blower until the appropriate time and the money is to help tide him over till her finds a new job.

well yea it all seems hunky dory. financial rewards, support sys, yada yada. but reallie, do u think it can reallie tk off here in SG? i think it’s the attitude of the people here that needs to be changed. true, perhaps the money and support can motivate the whistle blower. but will it be enough? the culture here, as we’re taught from young, is to keep quiet, do the right thing, mind your own business, don’t look for trouble. most people wouldn’t want to look for trouble and whistle blow cos we’re kia-si people. you could appear in the news, get ostracised, get sued, watever. dun think many ppl would wanna look for this kinda trouble. so i don’t really think the support sys would help much; we should instead start with educating our people. but oh well, the speaker didn’t understand what i mean. my dada did, and helped me to ask him again by specifically saying, “do you think we should focus on educating the people?” but he aso nv really ans. :eek1

oh wells watever. went to Ai Wo today. haha interesting concept and style of cooking, but i doubt i will go back there again. not that worth the price. it’s..kinda like stuff dat i can find at home anw.

one last rant b4 i go: sometimes some people are just so smart u feel so darn stupid. sometimes they raise such intelligent points/questions in class and the prof says, “good point/question!” or “you’re looking at the next CEO of watwatwat.” and you just feel so stupid. like hey, that point makes sense, why didn’t you think about that?! sux like crap. so when u have people like that in your class, you are scared to speak up, cos if you say something wrong, you will look and feel even stupider. haiz. :poop:

it sux like crap when you’re feeling as though you just got run over by a huge truck, yet various people are just coming to you with various different issues to deal with and you just gotta listen and help. because you can’t don’t want to say anything to anyone. sux like crap to have to smile and pretend everything it’s ok.

but everything is ok now. for now.

i’m still in a state of inertia. can’t get myself to start studying. doing work is ok – i need to do assignments anyway. but trying to get myself to get started on the mountain of readings is like trying to move the mountain. impossible!! how how how!!! week 3 already and i still don’t feel like studying!!! wanna go back to work, cos after i throw myself into work and work like a dog the whole day, i can come home and stone. on weeknights, there’s tv!! and weekends i can still stone. no homework, no readings. i can read whatever i want to instead of a pile load of crap about what some supposed expert says about some crap topic. oh shit, i need HELP!!

tellin me juz wat a fool i’ve been.

i fucking screwed up my corp paper. totally forgot the residual income formula, so the entire 20m qn is so damn wrong. i dun even think he can give me marks for my model even. i did a residual income practice qn yesterday, but it was slightly diff, a much simplified version. so today the longer one i totally forgot. canot even get 2 marks for the formula. den i thought he could still give me marks, den i realised dat i even used the wrong PV factor. ohmyfuckinggosh. can any1 be stupider den me? my god hw on earth can i ever use the wrong PV factor?!?!? and i still write sui sui at the top of my model the PV value, yet when i calculated it i actualli used the wrong figure!! wat is wrong with me man!?!?

den i realised dat my ROA calculations were wrong. juz realised it onli. wtf. ROA leH!! ROA!! simple calculation lydat aso i canot do!!! and to think i even went thru it again last nite but i actualli forgot the formula! actualli not realli, but i think i too kan cheong and threw everythin out. qn 2 asked for ROA, but told me to use EBIT. so i juz str away took the EBIT figure instead. now dat i think abt it, i think they wanted me to use EBIT*(1-Tax Rate) and not juz EBIT alone. oh shite. so i stupidly decided to use the same formula for the last qn. oh actualli no, lagi best. last qn i actualli used EBITDA. HOW ON EARTH CAN U EVER CALCULATE ROA USING EBITDA?!?!? it’s defeating the whole meanin of the ratio!! wtf. i reallie dunno wat i was doin. last qn i think i was too confused with the consol part, so i spent a lot of time on it. eh, i actualli wrote NOPAT/Total assets on my paper for qn 2!! not dat i forgot my formula leh, i actualli remembered!! but dunno why i so blur!!

i reallie wanna cry now leh. wanted so much to cry on the way home. so pissed and upset with myself. the residual income qn is reallie a give away, damn easy juz put in all the figures den talk crap at the end. but i got an undervaluation and recommended a BUY. when EVERYONE else had gross overvaluation and said dun buy. so blardy different ans, hw can i ever get marks for it? and my ratios! ratios are the simplest thing u can ever get for corp, and i screwed it up. wat was i thinkin!? i reallie dunnO!!

damn f-ed up. thought can try for B+. now i would be lucky to get B. only consolation is dat this is only 40% of the whole grade, and my other 60% i didn’t fare dat badly i think. now im so scared dat when i check my results 2 wks later, i will get B- or even lower. i raellie canot get anythin less den a B for this if not everythin kns liaoz. omg my hands are trembling now and i dun even feel like studyin for tax alrdy.

Alrite so one paper down, another to go. generally i felt the paper was okie..but lookin back..mebbe kinda jiak lat?

Qn1 got 2 parts…but mainly abt authority of agent..so juz whack lor. but my ans for 1(ii) is diff from YT leh..and cos i din check with the others so dunno who’s correct…

Qn3 got 2 parts aso..haha both abt winding up, juz as i expected. BUT i was too lazy to read the chpt in my txtbk abt winding up!! cos it was blardy long and by the time i finished the rest i was damn sianz. so i juz read the seminar outline and notes and follow the assignment onli lor..so on the spot read my txtbk in the exam hall and then anyhw whack again haha…

Qn 4!! luckily i got the cases from HY on sun..if not sure KNS.. cos i din even knoe hw to start nor knoe wat the issue is. but i vaguely remembered readin a case dat was almost the same as the qn..so i went to flip my stuff and found dat it was the case which i took from HY on sun! so again..juz whack!! :grin

Qn 2 is the damn shittified one lor. i read thru it the first time, din knoe wat the hell to do, skipped and did the rest. by the time i came back to it, i had like 15-20 mins left and i still din knoe wat to write!! cos i din even knoe wat issue i was supposed to identify! din even knoe wat chpt of the bk dat qn related to! den i remembered one of the assignment qns was similar so started flippin notes again. found the assignment but realised dat it wasnt dat similar aft all. tried to find as many similar pts to whack as possible, then with like 5 freakin minutes left, i realised dat it was a qn on oppressioN!!! like wth!! kns i juz wrote one line dat he can sue for oppression under s216. nv justify anythin, nv prove anythin, nv say anythin else. wtf. YT put oppression aso..but ven and wans think dat its juz a division of powers. which i so didnt think abt at all lor!! wat division of powers?! and so wat, hw the hell does it relate to the qn!? kns. so one whole qn gone man.

hope she is nice and mark leniently lor..crap man overall B grade can alrdy..dun wanna hope for B+ or A- liaoz..CANOT get B- for this if not my GPA sure kns again!!! kieren say normally will push up one grade for coy law..but im not so sure tho i realli hope so!! at least if B- still got hope to push to B!

gosh i came back and felt so damn sianz. i knoe i hv work to do, at the back of my mind my timetable is still flashin thru. it wasnt dat bad lah..but i juz felt a little sleepy. cos…surprisingly i finished coy law on time and went to bed at 12 last nite! but i onli slept at 1.30am so nt enuf slp lor..:pout dats wat happens when u srew up ur body clock and den try to get it back to work normally. crap hope it wun happen on thurs nite.

soooo i went to the fila warehse sale in the evenin..got 3 spiffy polo tops! im startin to like polo tops alot..got a red one too! haha mebbe wear this sat? den aft i came back i felt damn sianz. wanted to juz stone, or curl up in bed with a book. mebbe it was the weather. last sem when i was studyin, movies kept me gg. this time, story bks kept me gg. sean says im mad for wantin to read to relax when i’ve spent so much time readin my text and notes.

i gotta remind myself dat i shld get a pair of covered shoes for work cos dunno whether can wear open-toed ones?? got a couple other stuff to buy as well..and a lot of things to arrange and complete within the one wk break. sigh.

man juz got an email from mrs boo. i wrote her abt my internship and she sent such an encouraging letter back!! “You are going places, girl!” haha hard to believe such a line can come from mrs boo! but yea now i feel so motivated to study liaoz!! ciaoz!

am tired but i feel like bloggin. except i dunno wat to talk abt haha. i mean, look at the time, i juz got home, and im in the mellow mood again, as i alwayz am at this time of the nite.

yea so last wk, or issit considered wk b4 last, the wk ending 18th Apr. it was a shittified wk rushin corpse reporting. yea i knoe xn had a tough wk too, and i think her BAV is so much like my corp lah. WTH shld hv asked her and her brainiac frens for help right from the start lah. crapshitcurryfishhead. and they hv bloomberg in their sch!! not like us! we hv lousy reuters! canot find no shit man!

yea so as a few of u might alrdy knoe, my cockanaden grp mate for corp was reallie damn pissifying. and i tell u, if it wasnt for my proving him the cost of equity, he would hv been so screwed lah. he would hv taken the whole of thurs to calculate his market risk premium and market return and beta and he wouldnt hv been able to finish man. i mean, hw GL can any1 get man? whole aftnn keep tellin me report damn easy to write, all he needs to do is churn out the figures, very easy one. den dat very same nite at 10pm, he is still in sch. and askin stupid qns like ‘hw do u analysis ah?’ wtf. tell me it’s easy to write report when u dun even knoe hw to analyse?! think u so smart issit. and the analysis he came out with was damn fucked up lah. i mean seriously, i think he din even knoe wth he was analysing. i mean, okie i wasnt too sure either, if not for past proj reports, i wldnt hv known. but wahlau eh, it’s ur part, u cant juz crap lydat rite? cant u even go and find out what does dat figure mean and analyse properly? and i thought my analysis sux bad enuf, his is even worse. wth. i even had to change for him. crap man.

den me and ven were gonna get dinner ard like 7+pm or so. so we asked him whether wanna get dinner. he was like, no need lah, 8pm can go home alrdy. WTF. 12am he was still in sch lor. i cldnt even care if he was hungry anot.

and wed nite he din even wanna skip trainin lah. like wtf. he says nxt mth got test so he gotta go trainin to learn sm shit. but this freakin thing is due on Fri and u hvnt even finished ur part?! when i actually said the wk b4 dat we gotta finish by wed?! and on thurs nite he still had the cheek to ask us, “eh wasnt this supposed to be done by now?”. wtf man. who was the asshole who took so long to finish his part?! at least we din finish our parts bcos we were refining it lor. we were editing and spent wed nite editing till quite late in sch while u were off trainin for ur stupid test lah.

so lemme count hw many hrs of slp i had. cant reallie rem mon or tues. but wed had to wake up early for my personality consultation, den had coy law, and den we did the proj. so did until quite late, reached home, crashed.

thurs morn 8.30am had corp class. den pia all the way until Fri. so from like 7.30am on Thursday mornin, all the way until Fri aftnn 5pm i was awake. well i did slpt for like 15mins on Fri morn prolly ard 7am or so. but dat was it. and this was even worse den the camp last yr; at least last yr in the mornin i took cat naps cos my help wasnt needed so i cld slp. but this time, there were so many times when i reallie juz wanted to close my eyes and put my head down on the table but i knew dat if i did dat, i wld nv wake up. den we wld be damn screwed.

it was quite cool actually, like ven would feel sleepy but i wld be awake. den i wld feel sleepy and she wld be awake. so…not so bad lah at least we both din stone at the same time and managed to get work done. in case u were wonderin, the cockanaden went home at 12mn. ven told her to go. well he cldnt hv done much anythin. he finished his excel, which was crap so ven was gg thru it. he finished his report, which was crap so i was gg thru it.

and it was cool to like, stay up the whole nite? haha watch the sun go down and come up again. and we actualli cramped into the room with shangbin and e-mei. oh and danny! who got us supper from serangoon i think. so it was quite fun. they were all so nice even tho we weren’t very close. shangbin was offerin us his shower stuff and e-mei was offerin us her biscuits. so yea at least we made new frens hehe.

so we pia until noon on fri i think..den printed out the stuff, burnt the stuff, binded the stuff. i was supposed to go for the car wash, but in the end reallie no time and i cldnt mk it liaoz, so i had to tell them. but felt quite bad. i reallie thought i could finish in time and go for the car wash. at least like, finish at 4am go home and shower den come back at 8am for the car wash. but reallie cmi. mag and kw were so nice abt it lor. but there wasn’t much biz anyway. soooo by the time we binded and submitted, it was abt 3.30pm liaoz. so by the time i got home and bathed, 5pm b4 i crashed. quite dirty rite? one whole day nv bath. haha. 24 hrs without slp. wahlau i was like thinkin dunno hw those ppl who join the car competition can survive without slp man.

ya i knoe a lot of ppl tell me we shld go complain to the prof. but aiya same sch, same fac, u will still see each other ard, dun mk things awkward lah. like, i guess we were stupid enuf to hv worked with him. but seriously, i worked with him like hw many times? 3 alrdy? and all 3 times it was okie! BUT i found out last wed onli, dat actualli he was quite sucky durin one of the proj last sem. but my fren nv told us lah! bcos the proj last sem we split up the work, so me and ven worked together onli while he worked with the rest. and my fren nv complain to us lah. wth. i still happy happy bid with him so many modules this sem. wtf. i wonder if he knoes we are pissed with him? i think so man. haha suddenly the whole world knoes dat ven was mad at him last wk. crap man. haha but she was reallie damn angry at him lah. aft a while, i juz stopped feelin anythn alrdy. like wat’s the use? he’s a goner, we hv no choice but to juz keep gg and finish it up. so no pt wastin energy gettin angry lah. or mebbe cos i knew ven was smart enuf to clean up the shit. haha

actualli good to work with ven lah. as workin partners, we work well together. but for sm other stuff, i cant lah. shall not talk abt it here lah. too open. but for work, she is damn smart lah. well smarter den me at least, so for the stuff i dunno, at least she knoes. so not so bad hehe. like the excel and the figures, im not too gd at it. so luckily she handle. and she took CAT and she’s a perfectionist, so it was good. whereas for me, i do the report, editin, all the talkin cock part lor haha. like AIS last sem lydat. she did the technical stuff for the webbie while i wrote up the crappy content for the webbie. ya well, i dunno whether she was juz bein nice but she did say dat i can do the crappy writing part lor. haha think she was juz bein nice lah. but this workin partnership is not one dat i wld wanna break i think. haha.

aniweas..yea i think i’ve got sm other stuff to blog abt..but i cant rem and im too tired. i reallie shld go slp man. gotta mug tmrw. im reallie damn scared by ven and liting and shiuan. like wth. hmmmmmm but i wanna stone abt..and dream abt..abt…hehe….im not gonna say anythin here! :wink1

u knoe wat are the things dat mk ur day when everythin else sux?

its the ppl ard u.

like when i had a chat with benny aft tax plannin class. no hard feelins left from Yr 1, juz easy conversation with sm crap. reallie good feelin.

den like when this gal in my nego class offered me her chicken chop. i onli worked with her once for an in-class exercise, den she suddenly offered me i felt so touched. haha im easily touched.

meetin king ho along the corridors. haha alwayz fun to meet him cos we alwayz crap, realli juz mks me happier.

crappin with renny as well. tryin to find a christian name for hy, gg online to check names, talkin abt ‘well done, medium and rare’, and abt cars that hv ‘bird shit gao gao’. haha

and last whole wk was realli shitty. but little conversations reallie made my day. like when i had to go to the library cos the cockanaden had to find his stupid cost of equity and i met sam and we chatted. (yes i threw my grp mates away for a guy! haha) den when i was gonna print stuff and met wenyun. sam is alwayz worried dat im stressed or smthin with sch work. and i nv knew i could crap so much with wenyun; almost an hr on the stair case! ven was close to killin me haha.

and of course the ppl dat i knoe. the PEOPLE who obviously CANNOT READ ENGLISH and still msg me even tho my MSN nick says specifically not to msg me unless u can help, which, if u are askin abt comm svc, doesnt count towards helpin me u fart! but yes, darrell and ivan, for puttin up with my whining and complainin abt the cockanaden and for encouragin me thru out the nite and earli in the mornin; fart for puttin up with my attitude when u asked me abt comm svc haha; amanda! :heart1 ya sweetheart! u aso muz jia you with ur practicum!!

think a lot of ppl are not hvin very gd times in sch as well, but i’ve been too busy with CORPSE reportin to check in on them. will get in touch with u guys sooN k!! hang in there, term gonna end liaoz!!

aniweas corporate tax plannin quiz tmrw. sigh. hope i will at least pass. dun wanna get into trouble with the prof; think she dislikes me as it alrdy. cheryl nv email me her qns leh..so disappointed. hai. aft tmrw finally can hv a short break!! hv to start muggin for exams soon grrrr.

*lookin forward to more crappin sessions tmrw!!* :wink1

xuannie is still in sch! omg. she muz be rushin corp aso. im so screwed. do u think i wld hv to stay this late tmrw? or thurs nite? omg i reallie hope not. issit dat bad? would we not finish? wat do we hv to put inside our report? did we miss anythin? wat are the rest doin? is wat we are doin correct? now im startin to feel scared. not reallie stressed, juz scared.

feelin troubled aso. i hate conflicts but i think i hv to deal with one tmrw.

hai. its gonna be a long day tmrw. reallie hope dat i can finish CORPSE reportin on time and dun hv to stay so late tmrw nite. pls pls pls. pray for me man. pray dat i will pass my coy law tmrw. pray dat i can finish my corpse. pray dat i dun hv to stay late. pray dat everythin will go well. omg.

aww man, one wk break juz flew past like that. and i slacked thru it all!! feel so guilty man..everyone seems to be super enthu abt studyin, gg all the way back to sch to study!! *gasp* wats gg on?!

aniweas..i slacked thru it..tried to do my 4 journals..and now dat the break wk has gone, i realised dat i actualli hv a lot of shit to do. and i kept thinkin im quite free so i slacked the break away. wth. :eek1

had A LOT of problems with the journals. first i had trouble tryin to decide wat to write abt. the subject was so wide, i cldnt seem to be able to narrow it down. den once i got the topic, had to research a little to add more credibility and aso for my own knowledge so that i could crap more. den there was the problem of tryin to meet the word limit, and the problem of concluding the whole paper. crapshitcurryfishhead.

thanx to the angels who helped me – darrell, ivan, damon and jolyn :beam1 dunno what i would hv done without u guys..helpin me to think of topics, givin me ur input, help me to talk crap so dat i can meet the word limit! :heart1

actualli i felt so useless aft i finished the journals. i mean, the journals was reallie mainly juz talkin crap leh. and i realised dat aft not doin this kinda stuff (writing essays) for so long, i reallie lost my skill to crap. so sad. i was desperately tryin to think of pts to say, hence i’m reallie grateful to those who helped me crap. hai. den aso the way i formulated my thoughts and organized the paragraphs in the journals were reallie bad aso. hw did i pass GP and lit? useless. lost my writing skills, and suck in acctin. wth am i doin in life?
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