Mondays are the worst days of the week. not bcos it’s the beginning of a new week, but bcos i always don’t get enough sleep the night before.

ok so i normally stay up till 1+am to watch tv. my bad. but it’s My Date with a Vampire III!!! i grew up with this show!! i watched it in sec sch!! how can i not watch it now? and ma xiaoling’s legs are G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S. she’s always in a short skirt so u can really ogle at her legs. then there’s the charismatic bupo and to a lesser extent, tianyou! so yes i should be tired by the time the show ends, seeing that it ends so late. but strangely enough, every Sunday without fail, i always cannot sleep until 2+,3am.

then there’s AMA at 8.30am on Mon. sux like crap esp when he asks so many questions that i don’t know how to answer. not that he picks on me. yet. then there’s IPR str aft. no lunch ok! and prof just talks and talks. how not to be tired?

and from this week on, there’s gonna be the AMA proj meetin aft that. crap my brain was fried like an hr into the meeting. we suddenly had the additional task of explaining the some House’s Expectancy Theory model thing which i swear i’ve never seen in my life, not even in OB class. unless well, i threw it back to the prof. but i’m quite sure i didn’t.

feelin in a pissy mood now bcos my sister keeps insisting on wanting me to join them on a holiday. heck why the f— wouldn’t i want to go on a holiday? but she wants to go on a cheap, extended tour at the end of the year. I cannot. yes if you didn’t already know, i want to do another internship again at the end of the year. an audit internship, during the peak period of the audit department, cos that’s when you can learn and get an experience as close to the real thing as possible.

maybe i’ll be tired at the end of the year, maybe i’ll be tired in MT next year, maybe i’ll be tired in summer next year, maybe i’ll be sick and tired of working even before i have formally graduated and started work. but for now, for now i want this internship at the end of the year. maybe i’ll lose the drive eventually, but not now. i don’t feel i’m in a bargaining position with the company to tell them to let me start a week later and work a week more at the end so that i can go on an extended holiday. i don’t want to take the risk. who knows whether you will meet some bitch who die die want you to start and end like everyone else? and besides, supply would probably be more than demand, seeing as so many of us would wanna do an internship at the end of the year. i don’t want them to say, hey we don’t need you at all, go for your holiday. if i’m the only intern in the dept, it shouldn’t be a problem, like ralph. but considering that there will be a whole bunch of us in audit, going in later is going to be darn weird. not least that i will be alone and different; it’s just disorienting. i’m a kiasi Singaporean i admit. i don’t want to agree to go on a holiday, have them book it and then if i get into a situation where i cannot start work a week later, what the hell are we gonna do with my place in the holiday tour?

of course this is all assuming that i do get an internship this hols. if i don’t, so be it. i’ll find a part-time job, hopefully related to my degree. and in this situation, i would be able to start work later. but by the time i actually know that i’m not accepted for the intership position, it would probably be too late to book the holiday.

so i’m pissed because i already told her to just go ahead but she isn’t. ignore me really. leave me alone. i never went anywhere during summer because of you. i wanted so badly to go abroad aft my summer internship but because she took so darn long to decide, by the time we started calling up agencies, it was too f—ing late. whose fault was that? well i was darn cheesed off but i survived that. no biggie if i go through another internship while you guys go off on a holiday. i would rather you all go and leave me here than to try and fit me in, and take such a long time that in the end everyone can’t go anywhere at all.

it’s too early for me to be PMS-ing but i just bloody am. lately, many various things have been pissing me off. i’m not gonna list them here cos it’s just too many and too open. and i think it’s just me, so it’s not fair for me to bite other people’s head off either.

which is like the scary thing. cos it’s just me. sure, i can attribute it to PMS. but it’s too darn early for it. previously, i could attribute it to fatigue. yea cos after work, especially if i work late, i’m just so tired i hate it when things don’t go my way and i would get all pissy. but i’m not working now. and it’s not the time to PMS. so what the hell is wrong with me?

at times like this, i just wish everyone can fuck the hell off. like drop dead and die all something and leave me alone. but i should be careful what i wish for.

not in a good mood today. disappointed, hurt and upset.

do i mean that little to you? am i so unimportant?

ooh i hadnt realised dat my previous entry was my 100th entry!!

aiya! i juz sneezed and XXX came online!! haha i hope it doesnt mean anythiN. yucks man!!

aniweas..so unhealthy!! i juz finished eatin brownies!!! haha cos Jie’s classmates and gf made for him..den he got too much and cmi so me and Mei ate them up wahahhaa. hw come i dun rem NY gals bein so onz and bakin stuff for vday ah? haha mebbe cos we all dunno how to bake or juz din care. he got so much stuff from his classmates!! wassup with youths nowadays man? so much time rite? no need study ah? too much money to burn issit?! but watever, i feel satisfied now hahahha. aiyo jiak lat..still hvnt finished corp sia..and i feel like slpin liaozzzzzzz

depressin day man. not bcos i had to spend it studyin for the killer test instead of gg out and celebrating but cos i spent the time thinkin of 2 ppl. hm NNF and XN lor.

felt so pained for NNF, and i din knoe how to help him. as in, i cant be more pro-active lor. the best i could do was listen and suggest ways and encourage him. but cant reallie help him cos im not super close to the gal. he sounded so..helpless, tired, depressed; i dunno how to describe it. mebbe cos he’s a guy? haha but ya..dunno why juz realie felt pained for him. mebbe becos it reallie seems very hopeless for him liaoz leh..but yet i cant share with any1 else cos no1 is supposed to knoe. haha i sorta wrangled the secret out from him. quite surprised dat he was so willin to share with me. i guess it’s bcos if even sm1 like me know, when i’m not even close to him b4, it’s not much of a secret anymore rite? ya but i promised him i wun say..so i’m not even usin his real initials here cos im paranoid haha. i think i shld ask his gd fren to help him lor..but mebbe i shldnt interfere? cos i dun think he even ask his gd fren to help him, so why shld i do it? but his gd fren is the best person for the job cos he’s very close to the gal..mebbe i’ll talk to his gd fren aft wed.

as for XN..hai..wat do u do with jerks? u cant even beat them up. tk shoe and beat paper effigy ah? i aso dunno wat to say cos it’s up to her liaoz. and being a guo lai ren, all i can say is it tks time lor. but she’s takin it a lot harder den i expected her to. and i reallie din knoe wat to say, and it sux whenever i cant be there in person for her. and this is not even the first time. i wished i din hv the killer test, i hv a car, i can fly. watever. juz anythin so i cld be with her whenever she needs sm1. i suddenly thought dat every gal muz be supposed to meet one asshole in her lifetime man. haha except dat i think dat other ppls’ a**holes are so much worse. such as XN’s one. reallie a big, farking, irritatin, idiotic, low-life scum, scum-eating, bottom of the bucket sucker who shldnt be on this earth. okie im bein evil and this is bad for my karma. but he realli sux man.

okie lah..i betta go and get sm more studyin done. shit man. so little time left. clock’s tickin and i still got so much left. shite. hw hw hw i muz try to do well, muz try for css!! everybody, i hope u guys had a great vday!!

hai..okie lah so i went to see ProfW. saw my exam paper. quite proud of sm of the qns cos i did very well, but i bombed on the last qn on presentation and disclosure. i guess cos..i was confused abt it. not too clear abt the concept i guess. as for the materiality qn, he say i not bad alrdy cos got average marks, but i thought i shld hv done betta. hm for dat i blame both him and myself lor. i followed this formula sheet dat victor sent me so i thought it shld be okie cos i din uderstand the txtbk. and durin the seminar on materiality, ven followed the same format and presented her ans. he aso nv say it was wrong wat..so i juz follow lor..den turn out it’s not correct lor. he said the last qn was put in to distinguish the A students from the rest. and he told me dat if i din bomb there, i wld hv been an A- student. i was like thinkin, thanx lah, i knoe dat okie i dun need u to rub it in. and he told me dat grades are not everything, “it’s not that be all and end all”. he said ppl str 4.0 all the way aso can suck on the job. he said he interviewed and hired those not so gd students. and i was like thinkin, dun give me dat BS pls. come on man, u can talk all this cock to me, but when it comest to the crunch, are u reallie gonna give me a job? i felt like askin him directly in his face, “so will u hire me?” crapshitcurryfishhead juz tryin to mk me feel betta but failed horribly. and he actually added 1 mark for every1 in the class but it din help me at all lah obviously. shit man. and wans got her grade pushed up juz lydat lor. suckit.

heck lah. ProfW din reply my email for AIS aso leh. think he muz be heck care or gone back liaoz lah. aniweas watever lah. thanx to mr lee; managed to talk to him b4 i went to see ProfW. and tho his advice was more applicable to lit papers, at least it was kinda helpful. aniweas checked the final final results juz now. at least my gpa is in the merit range liaoz. think they kinda rounded it up or smthin. suckit man, nxt term corp and tp gonna kill me. borrowed the coy law txt liaoz. must.start.studying. :psycho1

i’m fucking PO with AUDIT!!! don’t fucking understand what the hell the bloody textbook is talkin abt cos it so doesn’t corresponds with the bloody lecturer’s teachings. and there’s audit test tmrw. fuck.

I HATE AUDIT!!! :mad1

last Tues, or issit Wed, there was an article on the front page of the ST abt a new cure for liver cancer. Dr Pierce Chow has tested it on lab animals and are lookin for patients to test on now. felt like callin or emailin him and juz scolding him, however irrational dat may seem. i mean, he was ah ma’s doctor!! and he came up with this cure!! why din he do so earlier?! why din he hurry up with it, why din he push it out faster, why din ah ma get the stupid sickness later? why din he at least suggest to us smthing?

i mean okie, drugs need a lot of testing b4 the doctors are assured dat it’s useful and won’t cause any harm and b4 it gets approved. but i’m quite sure dat in strict Singapore, testing will defn be rigorously to avoid any trouble with the HPB. so denf this testing for this cure would hv taken sm time rite? so wouldn’t dat mean dat durin the period ah ma was in the hospital, the cure was still being tested? it’s like, okie she would hv died eventually anyway. but u could at least let her try this drug/cure thingy even tho it’s not fully tested. i mean, let’s say the drug is not fully tested, and tryin it out on humans so quickly would cause harmful side effects. but either way, she’s gonna die from the stupid disease if u dun do anythin, so why not juz suggest this drug and juz test it out? even if she dies from the drug, at least we tried smthing, and aniewas it doesn’t reallie matter coz she would hv eventually died anyway. who knoes, if the drug was tried out on her, she could juz hv survived. why din he say anything instead of juz puttin her on morphine and lettin her drift away? want to juz search for his email and mail him and ask. think i could get into trouble for harrassment?

i hate bloody FLYING COCKROACHES!!!

there i was mindin my own biz, workin on the com, and this guy juz flew into the room from outside and landed at the side table. thank goodness it din land on me even tho i was sittin near the window. wat the hell, i had to sneak out of the room to get the mortein b4 dat thing starts flying around again.

so i spray it and it starts FLYING AROUND THE ROOM! the bloody thing! i was so freaked out, it even landed on my bed!!! yucks..den it flew to the com table, to my table, crawled up my lappie screen, argh!! i was sprayin like crazy and it refused to die. think i made so much noise dat the maid woke up and came into the room. thank goodness she did and she managed to catch dat irritating little thing. reallie impressed at how all my maids dun seem to be freaked out by stuff like this. they juz like, catch these creepy crawlies with their bare hands! the first time i saw, i was so shocked. den now i alwayz provide her with tissue paper. so gross and slimy to juz pick up all these insects lydat. anwieas aft dat thing got sent down the rubbish chute, i sprayed everywhere it landed on with A LOT of disinfectant. yucks can’t believe all the germs and rubbish it would hv brought in.

argh, dat’s like the 2nd time this has happened? the other time was when i was studyin for MA and i got so freaked out i went to bed without gettin much work done. now i’m sittin here, typing this with the bloody windows shut tight for fear dat some other stuff would fly in again. dunno how come these things juz seem to fly into the house and of all places my room not anyone else’s. argh.

in other news, i’m startin to dislike my nail polish. think the colour isn’t reallie me aft all.

wtf my lappie juz died on me and i lost the ENTIRE file on my charity contacts dat i spent the afternoon compiling. damn shittified lor, i saved my work a quadrillion times but when i rebooted my lappie, some blue screen came up tellin me some tech stuff which of course i din understand so i juz let it do watever it wanted to do, den when i opened my file, nothing came out. NOTHING! not even the original file. dunno wat happened. luckily i hv another copy on the desktop, but the companies dat i called yesterday aftnn and its contact names all gone. wat the fish.