nothing in the end

okie i’m feelin a tad pissy now cos i was desperately tryin to find a pair of pants and top that i can wear. :cuss: those who know me well know that i absolutely abhor wearing pants, and actually so does my sis. but at least she has one pair that she can afford to loan me. now the problem is that i’m f-ing short compared to her, so therein lies the problem cos i only need to wear this pants once. how to alter and not spoil it? in the end, the kiam siap me agreed to fork out $40 if i spoil her pants by altering it. :err1

now let’s hope my heart won’t get broken on Wednesday after going to such great pains. :shiftyeyes: i think it probably will be (broken), but let’s hope for the best and i shall try to be happy. it’s all in the mind.

in other news. oh goddess this is amazing. my previous entry mentioned abt me being attracted to the guy in my office who looks like Prince. right. and i found out today, in the afternoon, after i came back from my client’s place, that i would be working with the Prince-lookalike (let’s call him Prince 2 for now haha) for a job! i can’t remember whether the job is for 1 or 2 weeks. but it’s just funny how i was just thinkin abt him yesterday and bam! today we’ve been assigned to work together. is this fate or is this fate? haha i was darn shocked to hear my senior telling me that Prince 2 and I would be working together. anw all this is just rubbish lah, at the end of it i just hope to get this job done well. heard that the finance head is a bitch, and i’m a little scared of the senior who’s in charge. so really wanna do this well regardless of who i’m working with.

trying to juggle 3 bks at one time now. one is a thrashy fiction book to entertain me aft boring eons at work. one is my stupid theory. shitamama i hate it. last one is a non-fiction self-improvement bk on interpersonal communication. haha let’s see now, considering i hv loads of fiction books to read b4 1 Feb, i gotta finish the current one asap. the stupid theory is due end jan. and my non-fiction one should ideally be completed before i go in for the difficult job with Prince 2 (see above if you’re lost). yes i’m like how conscientious about my work. i wanna do it well. and i even check my office email at home for updates for my current proj. and when my senior said she gotta “see doc 1st”, i asked her, “huh what doc?” i was wondering which document she was referring to when all she meant was that she had to see the doctor 1st!! silly girl.

ok off to my reading. today is a good day cos my current client is quite ok to handle and also of the good news about working with Prince 2! i shall fall asleep with a :tongue1 on my face haha!

Y Choose an Engineer BF?

Message: Let me tell you why girls should eventually marry an engineer over a Law, management, Arts or Medical School Graduate. He has three distinct advantages over the rest of the graduates.

Advantage 1: Secure lifestyle
=====================================
An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job that gives him a high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too. Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in law firm. Most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan. The arts graduate is still looking for a job. And the medical school graduate is still living in a hospital.

Advantage 2: Unmatchable industriousness
=====================================
An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don’t understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week’s worth of happiness.) And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear. Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you. The Management graduate who will try to control your spending, The Arts graduate who will ‘change major’. And the medical school graduate who will operate on you. And you know what, it’s really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the ‘one’. Say that you like one of their project and they will be hooked to you forever.

Advantage 3: An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust.
================================= ====
Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others – The lawyers will lie about everything. Management graduates will cheat your money. The arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to the medical school graduate. Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that. Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find – rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to you.

So girls, why procrastinate? Get an engineer for your boyfriend!

And above all, Engineers understand and applies the Right Hand Rule which means the best!!

haha my fren sent me this. so this means i can go after the IT engine guy who sits beside me at work!! the one whom i don’t dare to disturb cos he’s hard at work everyday! haha. i only talk to him like at the beginning and end of the day or something. he always asks me to join the rest of the dept for lunch, basic courtesy cos we sit side by side what. but i refuse to go for lunch with my dept anymore. (i don’t wanna blog about it, it’s the people part, and not belonging.) i wld rather lunch alone than go with them. luckily i have my sch mates who are also interning here for lunch company. anw as i was saying, as i’ve migrated to the seat beside him this week, he’s been asking me this week to join them for lunch. one of the days when i declined, he said, “again?” man, was i tempted to tell him, “honey if u ask me out for lunch alone, i’ll definitely cancel all plans with my friends and go with you!” :grin1 haha but he can’t replace jason though.

oh yea, another thing: i only realised why i’m so attracted to the other guy in my dept – i think it’s cos he looks like XX let’s call him Prince. (or PC – prince charming! wahaha) anw yea the other guy really reminds me of Prince man. either i really miss prince or they just look darn alike. saw him at the mrt stn after work but i was with jx so couldn’t talk to him. darn!

hit me baby one more time, or twice, or 4 times more

4 times cos i hv 4 projects till my internship ends in mid-Feb. suckit i thought my last 2 weeks can rot in the office but i’m booked for a job for the last 2 wks. damn.

ok so that bad day is all in the past. i don’t wanna think abt it. too lazy to blog abt it. thanks amanda for that sweet sms also.

work this week was tiring. i won’t call it stressful. it’s never stressful at an intern level, and besides i slack too much anyway haha. check this out. i hv officially broken this record this week. Tues was 9pm. Wed was 8.30pm. noone could guess what Thurs was.

*drumroll* 1.30am! like how cool is that? it’s not like i’m excited abt setting a new record, not that i’m excited about my work, not that i’m excited about staying late. i’ve accepted that it comes with it. besides i was slacking. haha not good. basically cos the work had to be completed and sent to the manager for review first thing in Fri mornin. so my senior had to go through with me on Thurs, seeing that it’s my first full official job of my internship. and i was slacking because i’ve already done what i could, he reviewed and made all the necessary changes. (and believe you me, there were A LOT of changes that’s why we stayed so late). if i was stoned i think my poor senior was worse.

i think i could have done better. prolly prep more, read more. but i’m not exactly beating myself up over it cos i know it’s my first project and with almost no references (last year’s working papers don’t count; my senior was appalled at the work they did last year), i don’t really blame myself. besides i’m a low achiever haha.

needless to say, i was freaking shagged on Fri morn. my very nice senior insisted on sending me home even though he stays in woodlands and has a 9am meeting the next day. gosh. yea so i slept abt 3 and went to work before 8.30am on Fri. i toyed with the idea of going into the office late since i worked so late, (since all the perm staff do that anyway), but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. worst (or is it good?) thing was that i had no work to do on Fri. since i ‘ve already completed that job, my next job won’t start till the next week. so i just stoned in the office and tried my very best not to strike up a conversation with the computing guy next to me cos he was busy with his work. well i tried to do some work by preparing for my next 2 jobs, but well, how interested can one be in reading manuals of an application?

but i kid you not, it’s damn freaky to stay in the office so late, especially when there’s no1 else except your senior and you. some more my senior left me for some time to call his wife and smoke, so i was kinda ALL ALONE IN THE OFFICE. believe you me it was damn freaky. i was like how scared can. was sitting up straight, trying to do my work, perking my ears open to any sounds that would alert me to either my senior’s return, or some ghostly apparition. there were weird noises that i attributed to the lights and aircon. while i was working halfway, the lights shut off. omg i was like how freaked. luckily as i got up and walked like 1cm, the sensor picked up my action and the lights promptly turned on again. ya auto lights, irritating. then about halfway through, i heard weird noises again. sounded like the door opening, and someone or something moving around. i heard papers rustling, a thermos flask being knocked against the table or something. i was majorly freaked lah. as far as i knew, the tax dept was all quiet. the last people in my dept were the IT consulting guys who left at 11.30pm or so; i saw them leave. so i got up to check out. haha i also don’t know how come i so brave can. LUCKILY it was one of the guys from the IT consulting side. man he gave me a shock. funny lah he, don’t know why he work so late when all the people on the same project as me had left. ya so i juz carried on with my work.

anw, some thoughts about my work so far. finally completed one whole job. OS/400 and Unix. it was damn difficult, scary and intimidating at first, but it’s better now. even though my next 2 jobs would cover Windows and SAP and i won’t be revisiting the OS/400 or Unix, at least i feel a little more confident about learning the new applications. work-wise, it’s getting a bit more fun to learn after i get over the initial fear and apprehension. but i’m not so sure i like the hours and the people in the dept.

i know before i started this, i wanted to do well and get a priority job offer. now i’m not so sure anymore. at the beginning, the work was totally getting me down. now it’s a little of the work and the people as well. i’m even thinking that i should hope not to get an offer so that i don’t have to make the choice so early. i’m leaning towards the personal tax job, cos of a fixed working place, cos of the people and environment. i know the people would be likely to change if i were to join them, but at least i thought it was generally easier to get along with them. in my current place, i don’t like it. it’s been 4 weeks so far, 6 more to go. i’m actually quite looking forward to getting out of here. i’m not unhappy to the extent that i fear going to work or crying every night, that kinda shit you know. but i’m just sian to go to work. the situation may improve, but i doubt. i’m quite unhappy here cos of the general environment and the people. i know it’s partly my fault, but well. anyway, other factors such as there’s also more satisfaction as i clear tax file after tax file each day, as compared to having to have to work 2 weeks on one project that i get so sick of it at the end and don’t even wanna see it ever again. even though there is documentation for tax, the documentation for IT audit is a pain in the butt. irritating like hell. aiya don’t know lah. don’t wanna think about it now, don’t have to think about it now anyway.

Cause I had a bad day

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You’re faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life’s been way off line
You’re falling to pieces everytime
And I don’t need no carryin’ on

Cause you had a bad day
You’re taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don’t know
You tell me don’t lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don’t lie
You’re coming back down and you really don’t mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don’t need no carryin’ on
– Bad Day by Daniel Powter

ok yes the title and song says it all. i had a bad day. i started off busy but in a good mood. until something pissed me off and spoilt my whole day. aft tt it was just an escalation of small little stuff that spoilt my whole day.

but nvm. i came home late but i ended it off with phone calls to shiuan, hy and jason. in that order. so now i’m feeling much happier. it’s good to talk to friends aft being alone in the office for the whole day. stupid jason say i nag but he also so long winded. anw him and i have come up with a short-term career plan immediately aft we grad. coolness.

work tmr wun be easy cos i really need to crap up accurate stuff to wrap up the whole job. i don’t want to have to keep askin my snr what to do. hopefully wun have to stay late again tmrw.

ok i refuse to think of all the bad stuff. think happy thoughts! i shall go to bed with a smile, oui? :umm1

yesterday

i suddenly miss jason so much!! :pout1

just read his email and he says i take him for granted. what rubbish lah. i never took him for granted ok. but i miss him cos i’m so lonely now and there’s no one to entertain me or accompany me. and his reply just brings back all the fun memories we’ve had.

ok this is madness. i’m going to sleep.

shottelmyer

yea! u like the title of my post? hahaha!

narnia was not bad. i wun strongly recommend u to watch, neither would i say it sux. it was abit geena tho.. and i felt it was a bit boring/slow-moving at certain parts. but i liked the kids tho. i think they all acted very well. but i was quite disappointed with the witch queen. she wasn’t as fearful or scary as i expected her to be. and i was disappointed dat they din put in the scene abt the giant at the castle, the one where aslan ‘freed’ him and he helped break the walls and used Lucy’s handkerchief. :pout1 okie lah but i know u cant put everything from the bk into the movie anw..

hm and either i’m seriously mad abt LoTR or there really is a similarity. ok the great battle rite? edmund was injured and Peter was tryin his best to fight against Jadis, and Susan and Lucy were with Aslan. All looks lost cos how can Peter win against the witch queen rite? den suddenly Aslan roars and appears at the top of the mountain, and everyone fighting the battle turns towards the mountain, and suddenly u see his ‘army’ of people/animals/stuff that he ‘rescued’ from the castle. and they run towards Jadis’ army and start fighting. now what does this remind you of? LoTR TTT, where Aragorn led the battle against Saruman’s army in Helm’s Deep. when it was the 4th/5th day at dawn, and all seemed lost cos the Uruk-Hai had already broken into the Deep. and suddenly Gandalf appears at the top of the mountain on his white horse. everyone fighting the battle turns towards him. and den u see Eomer appearing beside him and the rest of the Rohirrim appearing behind them. then they all run down the mountain towards the battle. so similar rite??? but narnia cant measure up to LoTR man. never.

ahh i luuuuvvvv mr tumnus the faun! so cute!! well like/cute as in the guy, the actor. acting wise ok lah, but i thought that he didn’t really portray the faun very well – not enough innocence, not enough confusion. just not the way i expected the faun to be aft reading the book. i just felt smthn was missing. hm anw the same guy was in Wimbledon! as Peter Colt’s bro! that jackass who was betting on his bro to lose in the matches!

anw class outing was..abit sad lah huh? 6 ppl only leh. u must see who organize lah. haha i din say anythin, u nv see anything. but it was quite fun leh, i quite liked it. i’ve alwayz preferred smaller groups. rather than u go in big groups, but everyone break up into smaller groups. duo mei yi si. felt bad tho cos i kept naggin at marc to stop smokin. tsk tsk i dun care if u smoke, juz not in front of me.

yes i :heart1 the cho truffles shiuan! and aft hearing the fun story, i aso want a X-X-X guy too! haha cmi. that is one of my x’mas/new year wish ok. my other wish has been fulfilled!! thanks evie!! now i can go watch bsb!! really hope that i can mk it on tt day aso! suddenly so scared tt my work will end late or smthn cos i juz checked today and realised tt my nxt few jobs will be in jurong!! now my last wish, which is prolly nv gonna come true, is to eat the holly jolly pizza from pizza hut. but i think cmi liaoz..cos the promo is over!! :shake:

cafe au lait

caution: long entry!

i went to han’s bday party last week. seems like hers would be the last 21st birthday party i would attend for this year, thank goddess. unless i know someone who is younger than me and am close to that someone, han’s party would be the last one i would attend in my life. unless i have kids. or my sibs have kids. or my cousins hv kids. oh wth watever!

rz asked me, what’s the fascination we cedar gals have with vs boys? beats me man. i told him it’s cos we’re not into cat high guy haha. i guess it’s cos vs and cedar were unofficially sis-bro schs. yea one of those rubbish you engage in when you’re young and stupid. i liked my sec sch days. tho there are some things i won’t wanna rem haha. like when xn intro me to km and the gang, and km asked whether we chatted online b4. haha i don’t rem talkin to him and i don’t wanna rem man. not tt i care anyway since km is juz an acquaintance to me. and i aso dun wanna rem my young despo days. wahaha. not tt i’m not despo now but that’s not the pt. i dun want to rem my irc days either. haha man dat was so darn long ago! it seems almost foolishly immature, and hilarious, now how i used to enjoy chatting on irc/icq so much.

comparing betwn the vs gang and the other motley gang made up of guys from dunno which sec sch, man i would choose the vs gang anytime. ok it’s not the endless fascination tt i have with vs guys ok. it’s juz tt when you put 2 grps of guys together, a gal instinctively knows which ones can protect her and which can’t. even if xn were to say tt the vs boys were more comfy, hence more loud and boisterous, thus mkin the other group seem quieter, i still don’t agree. how do i explain it? the vs dudes were technically also in a strange environment mah..except tt mebbe there are more of them? oh well i guess it’s also cos of their build. and something abt them tt screams testosterone as compared to the other ‘pansy’ group. ok i’m being mean. and goodness knows why i’m talkin abt this. i juz find it very funny that’s all, that i would instantly gravitate towards the vs grp. mebbe cos i know them betta den the other grp, and i trust them more.

luckily xn managed to help me get a ride (halfway) home. we packed into yang’s car, and i told him to drop me off at NY. funny tho, i haven’t been there in ages, and i dun even rem the buses that go tt way alrdy! i kept thinkin i wld have a str bus back from dere, so he dropped me at the big main rd with the big bus stop. den i realised dat there wasn’t a direct bus, and i tot mebbe i would hv to walk into the smaller road and tk the str bus from the busstop dere. so i happily crossed the overhead bridge and walked to the smaller road and busstop. oh man, the memories. wonder who remembers tt smelly coffeeshop? the one where, if u dun feel like eating sucky canteen food, and u’re on yr way home, u decide to stop there for some hawker food? the one where if u sit dere for just 5 mins, or just walk past, u would stink to kingdom come the moment u leave that place becos of the lousy ventilation it has? yes i walked past tt very coffeeshop to get to the smaller busstop. and promptly realised tt there was no str bus home. i got confused again. so no choice had to tk one bus and change later. how silly. oh yea, and when i was there, i suddenly remembered abt my little cat. was it a kitten or a grown cat i can’t rem now. but i do rem that i used to feed it everyday, with milk that i would buy from the provision shop opposite the busstop, from this fairly plump woman with curly hair and a sense of humour and was very nice. wonder what happened to her now?

work this week was ok. betta than my first week. i just keep praying that it would get better and better as time passes. went to client’s place on monday, and they were very nice. and it was fun. i like gg out of office. and at least the stuff i was doin for tt client was something tt i understood betta den the computer stuff. was out again on tues, at another client, tho it was a rushed job. juz go in and come out. (gosh sounds like i’m describing something else. ok fine i think i’m juz horny). anw ya it was juz a one day job. and i spent the rest of the wk in the office. i thought i could go to another client, but too bad client was out of town. grrr. stuck in boring office. i love gg out; it’s the freedom and excitement of gg to a (new) client’s place to investigate new stuff.

tues was like how shiok. was at client’s plc and finished quite early. i asked my snr whether got anythin for me to do; she told me to juz sit back, relax and prep to go home. and on thurs, i asked another snr whether got any work for me; he told me to juz relax aso. haha darn cannot lah. if i can surf and chat and relax, den no problemo man. but if i gotta spend the time tryin to look busy and read relevant stuff, how boring. no choice. and besides, i like doing stuff too, cos tt means tt i would be learning something.

guess what i’m learnin this wk? unix, and linux. gosh how fun is tt? straw poll: who has heard of it? my snr gave me a crash course (one of the many i’ve had so far) in the os. basically unix is an operating system, juz like another Windows. i learnt the brief history, how it came abt and stuff, the commands, the different drives/directories. oh man, my favourite – i learnt the binary system! like how fun is tt man. :whatever: files in unix have permissions, and the permissions can be expressed in a ‘number’ format. so i had to learn the binary sys to understand the ‘number’ permissions. but my another snr taught me another way – the “2 to the power of” way, which was easier to understand, and faster to calculate. yes do you not think my job is fun?

i wanna dl my own copy of unix and muck around with it, but i dun think my dear lappie has enuf memory space to store. 6 gig file man. and i dun have a separate hard disk either. growl. too bad; i thought it was pretty fun to toggle betwn the 2 OS.

fri was cool cos it was half day!! hallelujah!! basically din do much work in the morning, cos i finished my stuff the day before and my snr had nothin for me. he told me to relax haha. i had another mini training session from my senior; talked crap with my colleagues; then lunch! free lunch k! so yummy! i’m happy to report that i’m becoming a little more social. i talked a bit more this week; hopefully it will be betta as the weeks go by. oh well, hard to say. sometimes i duno wat to say; smtimes they dunno wat to say so we juz stare at any other ppl/place except each other.

met cw along the corridor one of the days this wk and he asked me how’s my work. complained to him abt the difficulty. i think he was a little shocked at what i was learning as well. den he told me, “aiya nvm, at least at the end of my attachment, i can be IT guru. or goondu. dat remains to be seen.” idiot. forever suanin me everytime i see him. and depending on his mood, he may also throw funny corporate tax questions at me. harlow, there’s a reason why i nv wanna consider corp tax k – it’s cos i dunno and dun like!!

results for this sem are out. actually i got the unofficial grades quite some time ago alrdy; i juz wanted to wait and see my official gpa. well my term gpa is extremely high this sem, the highest i’ve had in my whole uni life. sigh. how i wish. but my overall gpa still falls short of my target! wtf. i’m nv gonna reach honours in this case. oh shit. 4 yrs but only degree. 4 yrs and nothing to show for the extra one yr. the only reason why i did so well this sem cos the modules were talk cock modules, and i was lucky. i’m not gonna be so lucky next sem – nxt sem modules are very technical/number-based. i sure cannot mk it. i only hope my gpa can go up a little bit. no need to jump over mountains and oceans; i wld be happy if i can juz maintain it.

actually hor, i think i shld juz slack my sem away and pia only towards the exams. ok yes i’ve done this b4 and regretted during the study break man. but really, i think it works. like corp reporting last sem. i pia at the beginning and middle, so hardworkin k. but in the end i became complacent and slacked off, so overall grade sucky. for subj like coy law and ipr, i slacked all the way thru the sem and started panicking only towards the end, and i got A and A- respectively. geez i shld juz slack den pia. mebbe i would get betta grades. and bcos this sem so talk cock, i reallie enjoyed it. sigh. i’m still wondering what i’m doin in this faculty.

re-hi!

right, aft the really bleak entry the last time, i’m back!!

okie spent a week in taiwan. 7 days to be exact. damn tiring. every nite sleep late..go ye shi (nite market) mah..go taiwan how can dun go nite market rite? so aft reach hotel+shower+pack stuff cos hv to change hotel everynite, it’s alrdy like 1,2am liaoz man. and the next morning gotta wake up at like 6-7am. wat sort of holiday is this man?! came back reallie shagged and still had to go to work the following monday aft i came back on saturday. will blog more abt tw if i feel like it another time haha.

work is..damn challenging and difficult. so much so tt i dun hv the motivation to carry on. i reallie cant bear to think tt i hv 9 weeks left of work to do. i dunno issit bcos i’m tired, aft working so hard during summer, den sch den tiring hols and now workin again. or issit bcos it’s difficult? it reallie wasn’t what i expected or envisioned before i joined. and i really never expected it to be so IT-based. i guess i had a skewed impression aft AA this sem. it’s really quite bad cos i either spend the time sorting out the data into info (by opening notepad files into excel and sorting out the data), or i spend the time trying to file the particular file i need to test the controls. and it’s hard finding the file cos it’s all in abbreviated tech-speak. like dispautobj (sys) or smth to this effect lah i can’t rem. i so not a techie and i hvnt been in any contact with any of these stuff before. but now i have to even understand the different O/S (operating systems).

darrell asked if i regretted my decision. i don’t, and i would still mk the same decision to come to this dept. it’s definitely an eye opener. at least, if i really don’t like, i would know at the end of my internship tt i won’t wanna do this. rather den if i didn’t do this, but joined str aft i graduated, which would hv been even worse. get wat i mean?

and horrors, i dunno why, i’ve really bcome very very anti-social now. i dun like to talk to new ppl. at work, i hide in one corner and juz do my work. i dun talk to the ppl in the dept at all. they aso dun reallie talk to me aso leh..so i aso nv tk the initiative to do anythin. so basically, it’s like i dun reallie exist in the dept lah. so bcos of that, i dun realli feel like i belong, so there’s no sense of belonging (it’s maslow’s hierarchy of needs rite?) so i dun reallie feel motivated to work as well.

oh well. pls pray for me. i’m praying for myself too. really want this 9 weeks to go by quickly.

Going Under

Oh, Isis, Goddess of Life, guide me to the other world…”

i am so screwed. this semester’s exams are the worst of my life, even worse than Year 1’s FA and MA. it’s all my fault really, for all the subjects. i seriously underestimated the amount of stuff tt i needed to study. very worried abt the calculation qn, dunno how chim the calculation will be. hoping tt bcos it’s such a short period of time, he can’t be so evil as to ask us to calculate super-chim stuff. so if it’s just basic variances, then i think i can handle.

the application questions. was lookin at the past year papers and realised tt the application is really kinda chim. again, i can cover the really basic stuff, but if u throw me a diagram tt i saw in my notes but was not explained in class, then i’m a goner. shit i deserve to die. suddenly feeling very scared now. everyone seems to have covered more stuff than me, mainly for the extra readings.

it’s a morning paper, and i really should go sleep or i can’t think properly to crap. but if feel like if i sleep now, i’m not helping myself cos i hvn’t finished studying. but even if i stay up, i don’t have the mood to study and things are just in drips and draps and i don’t know exactly what i shld be reading. i must do everything of course, but bcos no time i hv to choose but i dunno wat to choose. i shld just go sleep.

will the gods help me if i’ve realised my mistake already?

Oh, Isis, Goddess of Life, guide me to the other world…”